Eien no Yume ni Mukatte
by Senashenta
Summary: As the relationship between one Starlight and the Knight she might very well be in love with grows, questions surface. Questions with answers that cause more than a healthy amount of angst. (OC Characters.)
1. Night 1: Silence

**Disclaimer: **_Sailormoon Stars_ and concepts belong to Takeuchi Naoko-dono, Toei and Kodansha; Ren Akari and the Imperial Knights of Kinmoku belong to Cassandra Sisenta; Tsuko/Neo-Keeper and Kuroi/Neo-Striker also belong to Cassandra Sisenta; the Neo-Inner Starlights (Taiga, Yukiko & Suta) belong to Senashenta, as do the "New" Starlights (Hikaru/Hunter, Josei/Dancer & Amai/Dreamer). 

**Notes:** Saa. The main characters in this, Yukiko Kou (Neo-Maker) and Ren Akari (one of the Imperial Knights), are from the huge long timeline that Cassandra Sisenta and I created for the Starlights home planet of Kinmoku(sei), as are Taiga Kou (Neo-Fighter) and Suta Kou (Neo-Healer). ;;

If anyone was interested in reading more about/with our OC Starlights (there are about 20 of them all together ;;), you can go to my profile and scroll down to the "Links" part: the site is called "Nagareboshi Destiny". You could also go and read some of Cassandra-san's fics, since she writes with our Starlights quite a bit. She's listed in my Favorite Authors, and her pen name is "Cassandra Sisenta or Krey-Zey".

Anyway, Yuki-chan and Ren's relationship is my favorite one in our entire Kinmoku Timeline, and I find them to be too cute for words. - So I'm writing this. (Besides which, I told Cassandra-san I would and I can't back down now or she'll hunt me down and sick Kagami-san on me... or something!) 

**EIEN NO YUME NI MUKATTE**

**Night 1: Silence**

How long had they been doing this?

She couldn't really remember.

It felt like a long time, but could have been only months... or even weeks.

Magenta eyes opened against the shadows around her, pupils dilating widely because of the darkness—but they only remained open for a moment before shutting once more, lulled by the soft breathing that caressed the back of her neck.

The first time she had spent the night in Ren Akari's apartment, it had been on a whim. Unable to sleep, she'd shown up on his doorstep with a bowl of popcorn and an armful of video tapes, and all but forced him into a "movie night". And he had grudgingly agreed to it... why? If she was honest with herself, she really didn't know...

When she finally _had _fallen asleep that night, it had been on the couch—and she had awakened the next morning with a thick, warm green blanket draped over her, the television turned off, and Ren nowhere in sight.

That had been when he was still rooming with Endo and Akuma, who had since moved out to—ahem—"give Ren more privacy."

How far they had come since then...

And at the same time, a lot of things hadn't changed.

_I need to go._

The unwelcome thought was followed by an resigned sigh—one which made Ren unconsciously move closer to her, his arms tightening around her ever-so-slightly. Yuki appreciated the sentiment, even if he didn't know he was doing it, and for a short moment she considered just _staying _for the rest of the night.

_I can't... unless I want Akai-sama to sit us both down and give us a Birds And Bees talk..._

As always, she would be gone before he woke the next morning—not that there was really anything for them to want to hide.

Every night that she spent with him was the same: they talked, sometimes. About everything from the weather to her Training, to the other Starlights and Knights, to her hopes, dreams and fears—though he had never confessed any of his.

But mostly they slept...

It was always on a night when she was feeling sad or depressed. Always on a night when she couldn't sleep on her own bedroom, because of the silent demons that routinely and secretly plagued her thoughts. Always on a night when she needed someone... someone, who...

_Who... what?_

She had often wondered what their relationship really was...

Much as she hated to do so, she slipped from his surprisingly comforting embrace and headed quickly for the door: the last thing _he_ needed was for anyone to find out that she had slept in his room all night. Whether the others believed that she actually had just been _sleeping_ or not was completely irrelevant—he'd still be teased unmercifully—and then there was Akai, who might just mush him into a fine paste against the concrete footpath in the Palace Gardens because, as was his mantra, "no one touches the Starlights!" 

_I'd stay, if I thought that Suta-san and Taiga-san wouldn't care... or that Akai-sama wouldn't completely lose his head over it... or that I wouldn't get lectures from Taiki-sama... and Josei-san... and everyone else..._

This regretful, thoughtful, and somewhat sad side of her was something that only Ren had ever seen. To everyone else, she was just the genki, overly energetic Starlight-Trainee, Neo Sailor Starmaker. She was just "Yuki" or "Yuki-chan". She was just an amusement at best of times, and just an annoyance at the worst...

"The hallway door has a chain-lock, now. You've got to undo it to get out."

_Eep__!_

Ren's voice brought her out of her uncharacteristic reverie. Giggling nervously, she turned back to look at him. He had cracked one eye open a bit and was watching her silently. "Ne... I thought you were asleep!"

"And I thought you were."

"Maa... I need to get back to my room."

"Aa."

"Ah... so... ja matte ne..."

"Go to bed, Yuki. You need to sleep."

"H-ai..."

It was a strange feeling, sneaking _out _of his bedroom instead of _into _it, as she did most mornings, to wake him up at the crack of dawn—a strange and _nervous_ feeling, and one that she had never really gotten used to, especially on the nights when, despite his silence, he wasn't actually asleep at all...

Sighing, she hurried to unlock the chain-lock and stepped out into the hallway, shutting the door behind herself with a soft click—

—only to turn and slam right into someone else, knocking both of them to the ground with indignant squeaks and muffled _thumps_.

"Itai..."

"Amai-san!"

The "someone else" that she had run into was Amai Kou—Sailor Stardreamer—and a higher-ranking Senshi than herself, no less. The supremely shy Starlight didn't say anything for a moment, as Yuki gaped at her in surprise, and—

This was a problem.

Despite how immature she acted, or how "innocent", the implications of her slipping out of Ren's room just before dawn weren't lost on Yuki. She was already babbling an explanation even as she and Amai were picking themselves up off of the floor.

"—see, I was feeling really down yesterday, and Ren-kun always listens to me when I'm like that, and we were talking, and then I fell asleep, and the next thing I knew it was almost morning and—" pausing, she blinked at Amai when a sudden realization hit her. Magenta eyes drifted from the embarrassed look on her superior's face, down the hall in the direction Amai had been coming from, which lead toward where she knew Tohma Akari's room was. "Ah, Amai-san, what are _you_ doing here?"

It took a long moment before Amai could compose herself enough to come up with an answer at _all_, and when she finally did, it was a very thinly-veiled lie—but then, Amai Kou had never been a good liar.

"I... was just out for a walk, Yuki-chan."

Yuki couldn't help giggling, which only made the flush of red that had taken over Amai's face darken. "Sou da ne?" She smiled brightly, "that's just what I was doing, too! It's a nice night for a walk, isn't it?"

Amai blinked, twice, slowly, and by the time she had managed to realize what Yuki had said, the blonde had spun around and was heading in the opposite direction. She gave a cheerful wave over her shoulder as she ran—one which Amai returned with no little confusion.

A loud whisper, so she wouldn't wake anyone else in the Knight's Wing up: "ja ne, Amai-san!"

For a long moment, the soft spoken Starlight didn't move. Somehow, the shorter girl always left her feeling as if she had just been run in circles—she could never keep up with the little Neo-Maker's enthusiasm, happiness, or even _energy _in general...

She _liked _her, of course, but she had trouble relating to her.

_Hikaru-san does better with Yuki-chan than I could ever hope to._

And then she thought of something—

Green eyes turned upward, curiously, toward the door that Yuki had emerged from, and, despite the blush that was still threatening to overtake her, a smile graced her lips.

"Ah, Yuki-chan, I see you and I have something in common, after all."


	2. Day 1: Wishes

**Disclaimer: **_Sailormoon Stars_ and concepts belong to Takeuchi Naoko-dono, Toei and Kodansha; Ren Akari and the Imperial Knights of Kinmoku belong to Cassandra Sisenta; Tsuko/Neo-Keeper and Kuroi/Neo-Striker also belong to Cassandra Sisenta; the Neo-Inner Starlights (Taiga, Yukiko & Suta) belong to Senashenta, as do the "New" Starlights (Hikaru/Hunter, Josei/Dancer & Amai/Dreamer). 

**Notes:** Yaaaaaay! I love our OC Starlights characters. -

**EIEN NO YUME NI MUKATTE**

**Day 1: Wishes**

Beyond the yellow frills of the curtains, rain fell in slanted sheets, pushed westward by the blowing wind. What had at first promised to be a beautiful day had quickly turned sour with the darkening of the sky and the booming of thunder, and Yukiko Kou stared out at the storm with fascinated eyes.

"Taiga-san will be happy. She likes thunder storms."

The comment was aimed toward her lap, where a brown, beige and mahogany ball of fur—which she had named "Aki"—squeaked vaguely and attempted to burrow into the leg of her pink and purple striped pajamas, only to be foiled at the last second: Yuki scooped the ferret up and gave him a stern stare.

"Aki-chan, you stop that or I'll put you right back in your pen."

Whether Aki actually understood what she was saying didn't matter. She set him back down, and he scurried off to shuffle through the blankets on her as-of-yet-unmade bed, disturbing Maemi in the process, and making the tabby-striped cat bat at him in annoyance.

Yuki's _other_ cat, Umeko, was curled up in the corner of the room, sound asleep and completely ignoring the commotion created by her comrades, while their mistress continued to stare out the window at the roaring elements beyond.

"Ne, Yuki!"

A sharp knock on her bedroom door was followed quickly by a rush of air as it opened, and Taiga stuck her head into the room.

"Ohayo, Taiga-san!"

"Ohayo..." the brunette have a half-wave, then stepped to the side as Aki darted past her feet and scurried out into the hallway. "You know, if he sneaks into Suta's room again, there's going to be hell to pay."

"Suta-san can be so mean to Aki..."

"She won't really _hurt _him," Taiga assured her with a shrug, "anyway, you'd better hurry up and get dressed, or you'll be late for work... and didn't you say you had something to do this morning, too?"

"Oh—hai!" 

Yuki's eyes went to the clock on her nightstand—and she all but leapt off of the bed, startling Maemi into grumbling and moving once more. Taiga watched with amusement as the blonde scrambled around her room, getting dressed in record time, and then stuffing her uniform into the pink-and-grey bunny-shaped backpack she always carried with her before turning to dash past her out the door.

"Arigato, Taiga-san! I'd almost forgotten!"

"Sou ka," Taiga grinned, "have a good day, Yuki!"

The was a short silence as Yuki hurried down the stairs, and then the loudest _slam _as the front door to their shared apartment was forcefully shut. Down the hall, a half-shouted string of curses sounded from Suta's room as she complained to no one about the sheer amount of _noise _the younger girl made every morning.

For a moment, the Taiga chuckled to herself—and then a blur of fur at her feet caught her attention, and she scooped Aki from the floor on his way past.

The ferret's pen, which was roughly the size of their couch, lined half of one wall of the living room. Next to it was the pen that Yuki's rabbits, Sachi and Toshi, lived, when she didn't have them out to play.

_It's a wonder Suta and I haven't had to move out to make room for all of Yuki's little friends._

And actually, Suta was the reason there wasn't _more_ of them—she had drawn the line at an otter, which Yuki had rescued from who-knew-where. The animal, which had a broken hind leg, had been sent to a local veterinarian, instead of staying with them.

Shortly after that, Kakyuu-hime had (very politely) asked the Neo-Maker-in-Training to please not bring home any more furred or feathered creatures—so now, she collected fish. The thirty-gallon aquarium that had, somehow, appeared in their music-room, next to the piano, over the course of one night, was _teaming _with tropical fish of every possible color and conformation.

Taiga had long ago accepted Yuki's kinship with animals as simply a part of everyday life. _She _liked them, anyway, though Suta spent most of the time complaining about them.

Then again, _Suta _complained about most things...

"But," she told Aki in a secretive whisper, as she deposited the ball of fur into his pen, "for his sake, I really hope _Ren-san_ likes animals."

There were very few things that the new leader of the Starlight Senshi didn't know about her team.

**xOxOxOxOx******

She was humming under her breath.

It was a song that she had known for as long as she could remember—one that seemed to have called out to her, when she was young—and one that would always have a special place in the history of the planet Kinmokusei.

"...egao hitotsu chiisana hoshi..."

Yuki remembered the day she had first heard _Nagareboshi He_ as if it were yesterday, though it had, in fact, been nearly ten years: she had been seven years old at the time, and at a shoe store with her Mother, when it had come on the radio.

There was something about it...

That had been the day she decided that she wanted to be a Starlight. Of course, it had just been a childish dream—until the afternoon, five years later, when Taiki Kou had appeared from nowhere and accosted her while she was playing games at the local video arcade.

_I told everyone I'd be a Starlight, and now I am!_

That fact gave her no small amount of glee.

Still humming, she headed down the hallway toward Ren's apartment once more.

"...taisetsu ni shite ta yo..."

She trailed off when she reached her destination—

The door was unlocked and open, and, if she wasn't mistaken, the chain-lock that Ren had warned her about the night before... wasn't that it, lying on the carpeted corridor floor, a couple of feet away from her?

Confusion and worry clashed in her expression as she poked her head into the apartment; "Ren-kun?"

Silence.

Frowning a bit, she pushed the door open farther and let herself in. "Ah—are you alright? I—I just came in because the door was open!" There was still no reply. The apartment itself, aside from the broken lock, seemed to be as it always was. Still, she was concerned—she headed toward his bedroom. "Is anything the matter? What's going on? I've never seen the door open before. Is there anything that I—"

As with the front door, the door to his bedroom was open as well. Inside, six out of eight of the Imperial Knights were gathered—and they froze immediately upon the sight of her.

Akai seemed to have been in the middle of saying something. Kagami was seated quite comfortably on the edge of Ren's unmade bed—and Ren himself, who was very obviously angry about something, was being held in place by Endo, who was looking quite amused as he attempted to keep the smaller man away from their former-leader.

Tohma and Rui were standing off to one side, looking pained...

They all stared at her.

Yuki found her face turning quite a bright shade of red. "I—I—I have to go! I'll see you later, Ren-kun!"

Spinning, she beat a hasty retreat, heading for the hallway again—and then paused before leaving. A nagging voice was muttering in the back of her head, prodding about courtesy and manners. Running back, she peered into the room again—no one had moved.

"Oh... and good morning to all of you!"

That done, she hurried back to the front door and escaped into the hallway, where she paused for a moment to catch her breath. _Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..._

Voices from inside. She couldn't hear what they were saying. She wasn't sure she wanted to.

Still blushing furiously, Yuki cast one last glance toward the front door, which was still hanging open, and then headed down the corridor like her life depended on it.

**xOxOxOxOx******

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Yuki-chan!"

"O-ohayo Jina-chan..."

"Neeeee... Yuki-chan, are you okay?"

"Hai. I think."

"You're blushing!"

"I am not!"

"You are too!"

"Am not!"

"You are! You are!"

"Jina-chan!!"

"What happened, huh? Was it Ren-sama? _Was it?_"

"Uh... i-iie..."

"It _was_, wasn't it! What'd he do?"

"I said 'no'!"

"Oi, Jina. Leave her alone already."

Yuki tugged at the hem of her uniform and smiled gratefully at Amako, who winked in reply, forgoing a verbal response. Jina stuck her tongue out at her, and then waved a hand, dismissing the other girl completely, then turned her attention back to Yuki.

"So then why are you all red, Yuki-chan?"

The question made her blush again, and Jina giggled as if it confirmed her suspicions. Amako chuckled, but shook her head as she straightened her apron and started digging through the storage shelves for a pad of paper and a pen.

"I ran here because I was late!" That much was true—or, half-true, at least. Without looking at Jina, she dug through her backpack for an elastic, and pulled her long, blonde hair into a high ponytail: she hadn't had time to deal with it before she left home that morning.

"That doesn't explain anything." Jina complained, crossing her arms over her hunter-green uniform.

"Here, Jina." Amako interrupted once again to shove a notepad and a pencil at her, and then handed a set to Yuki as well. "We open in two minutes," she checked her watch just to be sure, and then added; "so just forget it for now, okay?"

Jina pouted. "Demo—"

"Grow up, Jina." This was from Yori, who muttered the words under her breath as she passed between the green-haired girl and Yuki in her normal no-nonsense way, black-purple hair fluttering behind her.

Normally, Yuki considered the taller girl to be a stick-in-the-mud. Today, however, she was willing to take any help she could get. Before Jina could regroup for another attack, she scurried out of the back room and into the kitchen to check on the coffee machines.

"Yukiko-san?"

The Manager's voice. She turned to look at him, smiling brightly and still fighting down the redness in her face, and bowed quickly. "Ohayo gozaimasu Sakosawa-san!"

Sakosawa Hakku was the Manager of the Uchu ice-cream parlor and snack bar, and the second in what would surely by quite a long line of them, given the Uchu's success. In general, he was quite forgettable—brown hair and eyes, not short, not tall, not anything special—but Yuki found him to be a very wonderful and likable person, and probably the closest thing to a Father-figure she'd ever really had in her life.

"Anou... what are you doing?"

"Ara?" A surprised blink. "Checking the coffee?"

"That's my job." He gave her a patient smile. "And you know that."

"Ah. Uh—hai." A nervous giggle. "Gomen, gomen!"

Sakosawa shook his head, and was about to say something else when Amako poked her head into the kitchen. "Ne, Yuki, come on, Yori-san's about to open the doors and we've got work to do!"

"Haaaai!"

Once more, she hurried out of the way.

She seemed to be doing a lot of that, lately.

**xOxOxOxOx******

"Oi, Yukiko-san."

It had been a long day.

Between Jina's teasing and Yori's muttering, Yuki was about ready to give up and go home... and lock herself in her room and not come out for the next ten years.

"Oi. Yukiko-san."

That morning's little scene at Ren's apartment aside, she was supposed to have met him for breakfast—and, one huge post-traumatic-stress moment later, had _completely _forgotten that fact.

She had been in such a hurry to get to work and pretend the entire affair had never happened that she'd inadvertently ditched him.

_He'll probably never speak to me again..._

"_Oi__!_ Yukiko-san!"

"Ara?" Blinking, Yuki jerked out of the completely blank stare she had been giving the wall, and spun to face the Manager—spun so fast she completely knocked an entire tray of drinks out of his hands and onto the floor.

They clattered, crashed, splashed, and generally made a complete ruckus as they hit the tiled floor, and Yuki gave him a horrified look as milkshake and cola spilled out across the kitchen, while Amako and Jina stared in surprise, and Yori murmured something insulting under her breath. Again.

"Ahh! Sakosawa-san! Gomen nasai!"

"Oi..." the man shook his head, rubbing at one ear, and kicked absently at one of the now-empty glasses. "Yukiko-san, what's wrong with you today? All you've done is spill things or stare off into space—I know you're one of Her Majesty's Starlights, but I think you might be taking the whole "star" association a bit too far today." Yuki was already scrambling for a towel, but he yanked it out of her hands as soon as she found one. "Yamete, Yukiko-san. Stop and listen for a second—the drinks can be cleaned up in a minute. I just came back here to tell you that Akari-sama is here."

"Akari..?" She blinked slowly, "Ren-kun?"

Across the room, Amako and Jina began to giggle, and Yori rolled her eyes as Sakosawa smiled. "Iie, not Ren-sama... but I figured you'd want to know, anyway."

Yuki rubbed at her apron absently. "Who is it, then?"

"Endo-sama, actually."

"Endo-sama..?"

Endo had _never_ been to the parlor.

"Do you want to take his order?" Amako asked, waving a hand for emphasis. "He's at one of my tables, but you've got the whole Palace-life thing, and he's one of your friends, so I figured..."

She let the offer stand, as Yuki peered out the kitchen door toward the restaurant itself. "Endo-sama isn't really my _friend_, Amako-chan..." she just couldn't figure out what he would be doing there. "He's kind of my superior..."

"So's Ren-sama," Jina pointed out with a giggle.

"Urusei, Jina." Yori snorted.

"So..?"

Yuki shrugged, "aa. Hai, I guess."

Amako gave a vague reply, and headed back out onto the floor with Jina bouncing behind her, while Yori started brewing more coffee. Digging through her pockets, Yuki retrieved her notepad and pen, and headed out toward the table where Endo was seated, looking more than a little out of place.

"Konnichi wa, Endo-sama! Welcome to the Uchu! It's nice you decided to come, since you haven't been here before. Or maybe you have... just before I started working here. I guess I wouldn't know about that, would I?" Her somewhat rambling welcome was bright enough, and Endo blinked for a moment as the short, blonde girl in front of him smiled happily. "What can I get for you, today?"

A quick shake of his head, "actually, I didn't come for a drink, Yuki—"

"Ara? No? Do you want something to eat, then?"

"Iie."

Her expression went blank. "Then... what are you here for?"

"I just came to apologize for this morning."

"Aah..." despite the flush of red that began to color her face once more, her curiosity got the better of her. "Um, what... were you all doing... anyway?"

Endo's lips quirked. "Akai has a bad habit of doing bed checks. Especially in regards to Ren."

"Why?"

"He seems to think," the man said, and seemed to be trying to find the best way of saying the next part, "that Ren might be trying to sneak you into his room at night. Though I'm not sure where he got that idea—Akuma and I have been as tight-lipped as possible about that facet of your little relationship."

Yuki was sure she was the color of a cherry.

Endo was staring at her.

She needed to say something! Anything!

"Endo-sama—"

"It's alright, Yuki." He seemed unconcerned, "what the two of you do at night is your own business. Why do you think Akuma and I decided to move out of that apartment?"

There was nothing for her to hide behind, damn it!

And was that Jina, giggling at her from across the room?

"We—there's—there's nothing—" breaking off, she looked down at the floor... and then, tugging at her apron nervously, asked; "Endo-sama... if... if I had a couple of questions... do you think you could answer them for me?"

"Questions?" One eyebrow raised.

"Just—just about Ren-kun!" She hastened to assure him, "I just—he doesn't talk much, and there were—some things that—"

She was going to crawl under a rock and die.

No, really.

"I suppose I know him as well as anyone else." Endo shrugged, "what is it you'd like to know?"

Hesitation. Yuki tugged at her skirt.

Silence. Endo waited for her to speak.

Movement. Something brushed up against her back.

A voice. Amako. "Sakosawa-san says you can take your break now, if you want."

_Thank God!_

"Arigato, Amako-chan," the other girl continued on her rounds, and Yuki sat down at the table across from Endo. Sitting, with the expanse of wood between them, and the chair behind her, she didn't feel quite as exposed. "Aa... about Ren-kun... how—how did he become a Knight?"

A blink. "The gaki doesn't tell you anything, does he?"

"Iie..." there was a tone of sadness in her answer. "Not really."

Across her from, Endo shifted. "I'm the one that recruited him, actually. The little thief tried to steal my wallet from me, so I beat him senseless and then offered him a place in the ranks of the Imperial Knights. He was a little surprised, to say the least."

"Oh." Yuki's head came up. "Why was he trying to steal from you?"

"He was a street kid. Stealing was his way of life."

"But... but what made you ask him to be a Knight? I mean... instead of throwing him in jail..."

"There was just something about him that told me he'd be worthwhile. He has a good heart, despite the toughness he tries to pretend goes all the way to his core..." a half-smile, and he nodded toward her, "but you know about that, ne?"

Why was everyone so set on embarrassing her, today?

"Anyway, that was a long time ago."

Time. That was another thing she had been wondering about—wondering, and at the same time, afraid to ask. She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Finally, she whispered, "how... how old... is he, really?"

Endo's eyes turned serious, and he considered before answering. "You shouldn't concern yourself with that, Yuki."

"Demo... Endo-sama... I—I really... I really would like to know..."

Another long pause, then; "old enough."

"Endo-sama..."

"Yuki... it doesn't matter."

"But..."

He crossed his arms, his eyes closing for a moment. "When the Imperial Knights were first gathered... it was during the beginning of Kokoro-hime's reign. We were around for a good number of years before the next Starlights were found, and we trained them when they were..." somehow, he knew he was going to regret telling her. "Those Starlights were Raider, Caster and Weaver."

She didn't need actual numbers to know what he was saying. "That was... that was _four generations_ ago!"

"Hai."

"He's... he's... he can't be that old!"

"You know how old Satsu is, ne? Ren has a good forty years on her, if not more. To tell you the truth, we all stopped trying to keep track a long time ago." The expression on her face made him frown. "You Starlights, and the Knights... we age differently, and you know that."

"But... but..."

He seemed sad, somehow. "I told you... you didn't really want to know."


	3. Night 2: Mirrors

**Disclaimer: **_Sailormoon Stars_ and concepts belong to Takeuchi Naoko-dono, Toei and Kodansha; Ren Akari and the Imperial Knights of Kinmoku belong to Cassandra Sisenta; Tsuko/Neo-Keeper and Kuroi/Neo-Striker also belong to Cassandra Sisenta; the Neo-Inner Starlights (Taiga, Yukiko & Suta) belong to Senashenta, as do the "New" Starlights (Hikaru/Hunter, Josei/Dancer & Amai/Dreamer). 

**Notes: **Damn. It. All. FF.Net changed it's fsking formatting again! I freaking hate it when they do that! =.=;;

**EIEN NO YUME NI MUKATTE**

**Night 2: Mirrors**

Yuki sat in the music room at the piano, hands on the keys, music in front of her, and magenta eyes staring blankly at the aquarium that was across from her.

Taiga stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, with Umeko rubbing against her ankles. When she ignored the cat, it gave up with a frustrated sigh and headed off into the living room. "Yuki? Are you okay?"

"Is she ever?" Suta's voice responded, and she wandered up to peer past Taiga. "Jeez, the Shrimp's really out of it, isn't she?"

"Aa." Taiga cleared her throat. "Ne, Yuki. Daijobu?"

Her voice finally brought the blonde back to the present, and she turned her head to look at the piano music sheets, but didn't actually look at Taiga herself. "Hai... I'm fine. I think I'm just tired." Smiling, she explained; "we were very busy at the restaurant today."

"Hmm. Are you sure that's it?"

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine!"

Suta looked skeptical, but a sharp Look from Taiga kept her from saying anything.

There was another moment's pause, and then, as if to appease her friends, Yuki began to play the music she was staring at. Shrugging, Suta disappeared shortly after, but Taiga hesitated. "Well... I guess... I'm going to bed, kid. Don't stay up too late, ne?"

"Sure."

Sighing, Taiga vanished, following Suta away from the music room.

Yuki's fingers continued to play...

For only a few seconds, and then she stopped.

What _was_ wrong with her, tonight?

_I should never have asked Endo-sama about Ren-kun. I should have just left it alone... _why _can't I just leave things alone?_

She had spent a good twenty minutes, even after Endo left the Uchu, sitting and contemplating what he had told her. Eventually, Yori had wandered over, literally slapped her in the side of the head, and sent her back to work... Yori was probably the only one she'd ever met who would dare to smack one of Her Majesty's Starlights.

The rest of the day had been... long. Long and tiring. And she had spent most of her time only half-aware of her surroundings, with Jina poking fun at her for one thing or another, Amako trying to keep her in line, and Yori wanting nothing more than to kick both Jina _and _Yuki's asses.

Sakosawa hadn't said anything, until it came time for her to go home for the day.

_"Whatever's bothering you, Yukiko-san, it can't be that bad. Try to stay cheerful, ne? Be the way you always are... and things will work out in the end."_

"So says he."

Shoving the bench away from the piano, she stood and, pocketing her harmonica—which she normally kept on the top of said instrument—headed out the door. Once in the living room, she patted Umeko's head absently, shuffled around until she found her shoes and paused at the bottom of the stairs to look up toward the second floor.

Taiga and Suta had gone to bed... or so it seemed.

_Good..._

She slipped out into the hallway, shutting the door behind her with a barely-audible _click_.

_What time is it?_

She hadn't remembered to check a clock. As she wandered down the corridor, she raised her left arm and checked her watch. It was later than she'd originally thought. Just before midnight.

_I hope... Ren-kun is still awake..._

For all she knew, he didn't sleep at all at night—any night when she showed up at his apartment, he had let her in. If he had been sleeping... he wouldn't have even heard her knock, given how softly she did. And half the nights that she slept with him—_slept_ being the key word—he was still awake when she got up to leave in the morning... though he was always asleep when she arrived later on, to wake him up.

The Knight's Wing was in the opposite side of the Palace from the Wing that housed most of the Starlights.

Most likely, that was a direct result of Akai's paranoia when it came to the Lights and maintaining their honor and dignity: it wasn't that he didn't _trust_ his fellow Knights... he just didn't trust them when it came to the Starlights, and their collective charms.

The distance had never worried Yuki.

It was only a ten minute walk from the apartment she shared with Taiga and Suta to the one that Ren had, at one time, shared with Endo and Akuma. And she made the short trek three or more nights a week... why?

_Because I like being with him._

The simple truth was that, despite how harsh Ren tried to appear, there was something about him... that...

It was something she couldn't define. Something she couldn't explain.

_Something..._

Something she had decided to do... for his good, if not for her own.

Her footsteps echoed softly in the hall. And then she was staring up at the door to Ren's apartment—

The door opened before she could knock, as if he had been waiting for her.

"Yuki."

"Konbon wa, R—" There was something different tonight. Something in the way he looked—or the way that she saw him. "Ren-san."

She hadn't called him "Ren-san" since the first day they had really met, outside of the Uchu. Prior to that, during the few times that they had encountered one another in the Palace or surrounding grounds, it had always been "Ren-sama". She had referred to him as "Ren-kun" for so long he had forgotten what it sounded like for her to call him something else.

He almost frowned.

Yuki bowed her head. "Eto... I have something... to talk about..."

A short nod. "Come in."

He stepped aside, and she hurried into the apartment, leaving him to close and lock the door behind them. Standing just inside the door, the blonde tugged at the edges of her sweater as Ren turned purple eyes toward her.

"What did you want to say?"

"Ren... san." A pause, and she looked down. "Gomen ne... but... I don't think... I don't think I should come here... anymore."

For just a moment, surprise showed in Ren's face. His voice was flat, but carried a wavering undertone. "Why?"

"I just... I don't think I should..."

"What... brought this on?"

"...nothing."

"Yuki, look at me."

She shook her head slowly, but refused to meet his gaze. "Iie, I... I should leave."

"Yuki."

"Gomen... gomen ne, Ren-san."

"Yuki, what—"

Still looking down, she started back toward the door—and stopped when he caught her arm.

"Damn it, Yuki."

"I have to go."

"No you—"

"Yes, I do!" Tears stung her eyes as she whirled to look at him. His grip on her arm faltered for a moment, and then his hand dropped back to his side. "Ren... do you have any idea? Do you have any idea... how much... how much this _hurts? _But you're... Endo-sama told me that you're..."

"_Endo?_ This is about _Endo? _What the hell did he say to you that—"

She backed away a step. "I'm sorry... gomen nasai. But... I have to go."

Before he could protest again, she turned and opened the door—then hesitated for a moment. Just a few seconds. Long enough to take two painful, shuddering breaths and wish that she hadn't been such a complete idiot.

_I'm so stupid. So damn stupid..._

"Gomen ne."

The door shut quietly behind her.

**xOxOxOxOx**

"God... what have I done?"

There was no response to her half-asked question, other than the whisper of the wind in the roses, and the singing of the water fountain, on which she was seated.

She wasn't crying, really. Yukiko Kou wasn't one to cry.

A few sniffles aside, she was simply quiet, though her eyes continued to sting, and there was a painful lump in her throat. She felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to—

She wanted to take it all back, but there was no way to do so. She wanted never have asked Endo about Ren. She wanted to just pretend that things were the same as always... so simple, and at the same time needlessly complicated.

He hadn't come after her. She hadn't expected him to—just as she wasn't the kind of person who cried, he wasn't the kind of person who would chase after a girl, just because she was a total fool. He had probably already moved on.

_Our... relationship... it meant more to me than it did to him._

That much she was fairly sure of... and, truthfully, she hadn't even realized how much it meant to _her_ until she decided she had to end it. And now it was too late. Far too late, and she would have to pretend that nothing was wrong whenever she saw him, during Training or around the Palace...

Sniffing again, she reached up to rub at her eyes.

"You weep for him." Jingling bells. A shiver down her spine as the familiar voice continued with; "aa... you weep for yourself, as well."

"Kagami-sama?"

The man appeared from nowhere, emerging from the shadows as if he were one of them, his presence announced by nothing more than the vague, soft ringing of the bells that he wore everywhere he went. "Yuki... why are you doing this to yourself?"

"What... are you doing here?"

He smiled—a smile that made her shiver again. "I followed a feeling of pain... imagine my surprise when I discovered that it was coming from you." Pausing, he tipped his head to the side. "Ren is upset as well, you know, though he would never admit it. You are causing needless sorrow."

"You don't understand."

"Don't I?"

The fact that Kagami was a mind reader wasn't something anyone could easily forget. Nor was the man himself—he was a kind of ghostly presence—and one that made almost everyone nervous.

"You... are worried about his age?" Kagami clucked his tongue, "Endo shouldn't have told you that." Another short pause, and his lips quirked into a smile. "Ah... not his age, so much as his _experience?_" When her eyes widened, he added, "I assure you, Yukiko Kou, that no other woman has ever held his fancy as you do."

"I... I don't care."

"You are a very bad liar."

"Only around you." Her voice came out as a muted whisper. "Go away, please."

Kagami's next words had a cat-in-cream feel to them. "You... love him, do you not?"

"N-nani?" Yuki stammered, jerking her head up to stare at him. "I—I don't—"

"You aren't sure?" Once again, a smile curled Kagami's lips upward, and Yuki looked away. "Love is perspective, you know. It is different for different people. And yet... there is always something about it that defines it as "love"."

Bitterly. "What are you getting at?"

"Nandemonai..." he shrugged, waving a hand. "You really shouldn't spend all night out here in the Gardens."

Again: "go away, Kagami-sama."

"Aa."

Jingling bells.

He was gone.

_What does he know, anyway?_

That was the problem: he knew everything.


	4. Day 2: Crossroads

**Disclaimer: **_Sailormoon Stars_ and concepts belong to Takeuchi Naoko-dono, Toei and Kodansha; Ren Akari and the Imperial Knights of Kinmoku belong to Cassandra Sisenta; Tsuko/Neo-Keeper and Kuroi/Neo-Striker also belong to Cassandra Sisenta; the Neo-Inner Starlights (Taiga, Yukiko & Suta) belong to Senashenta, as do the "New" Starlights (Hikaru/Hunter, Josei/Dancer & Amai/Dreamer). 

**Notes: **Soooo... originally, _Eien_was supposed to be a One-Shot. Then, as I was writing it, it became longer... and so instead of uploading it as a 50-or-so page single story, I just divided it into Night/Day/Night/Day/Night. It was already divided like that, I just made them chapters instead of sections...

Yeah.

**EIEN NO YUME NI MUKATTE**

**Day 2: Crossroads**

"Would... would you like some coffee?"

"Hai. Please."

Tip. 

Pour.

Boiling hot coffee everywhere.

"AHH! Itai! Watch what you're doing!"

Yuki jerked her attention back toward the coffee she was pouring just in time for the man who had originally intended to drink it to scramble out of the way: she had missed the cup entirely. Hot black liquid ran from one end of the table to the other and dripped down onto the floor to pool at her feet.

"Ah... gomen." She bowed quickly. "I'll get a towel."

Two tables away, Jina was watching her with concern, and quickly scribbled down the order she was taking so that she could hurry after Yuki as she made her way to the kitchen.

The blonde was digging listlessly through the shelves when Jina poked her head around the doorframe, with Amako close behind her. Both other girls looked concerned—and rightly so. There was something seriously wrong with their friend, today.

"Yuki-chan?"

Yuki looked up from the shelves, blinking slowly. "Uh—hai?"

Jina wrinkled her nose. "Daijobu?"

"...hai."

"Hontou ni?"

"...hai."

Jina looked doubtful, and Amako shook her head. "Yuki, you're a zombie today—and you've been like that since yesterday when Endo-sama came by... what'd he say that's making you act like this?"

"Nandemonai."

"Yuki..." Amako's hands went to her hips.

"It's about Ren-sama, isn't it?" Jina asked quietly.

Amako glared. "Oi, Jina! Not _everything _is about Ren-sama!"

"But, Amako—"

Yuki sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

Both other girls blinked, and Jina asked, "are you... going to be okay?"

"...hai."

"You keep saying that, but I don't really believe it." Amako informed her.

A vague shrug. "I need a towel... where does Sakosawa-san keep them?"

"The same place he _always _does, Yuki-chan."

"Aah..."

She actually had to _think_ about it before she remembered where they were, and set off to find one—Jina and Amako watched worriedly as she drifted back out to the restaurant after she did.

"Something is seriously wrong with Yuki-chan."

"Yeah..."

**xOxOxOxOx**

Sakosawa had sent her home early.

Very early.

As in, about five and a half hour early.

Yuki's eyes watched the ground as she walked, magenta gaze never faltering, focused on the pavement that went by as she headed home—she had been spilling things on customers for the entire two and a half hours she _had_ been there, and eventually it had been decided that she should just leave.

_I'm not myself and I know it._

She didn't wonder why—though everyone else did.

Yuki planned to go home, go to bed, and never get up again.

_No one would notice, anyway..._

That was an exaggeration, yes, but she didn't feel like correcting it.

Sigh...

Her shoe connected with a wayward stone, and it skittered across the concrete sidewalk, vanishing from her somewhat limited line of sight. She heard it bounce off something with a dull _crack_, and a dry chuckle followed.

"Yuki-chan," a voice said, both familiar and at the same time unfamiliar, "you shouldn't kick stones at people."

She looked up—and blinked. "Ahh—Hikaru-san?"

The young man who was standing in front of her was definitely Hikaru Kou... only, obviously, _male_. As it was only the third time that she had ever seen Hikaru in her male _form_, Yuki found herself staring blankly as the good-humored Starlight chuckled at her expense.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"Hai... but Sakosawa-san sent me home early." She started walking again, and Hikaru fell into step beside her. "I'm not feeling very well."

"That much is obvious," Hikaru agreed. "The question is _why_."

"I don't know..."

"Liar."

Yuki frowned, "why does everyone insist on calling me that, lately?"

Hikaru shrugged and raised his arms to clasp his hands behind his head. "Have you been telling more lies, lately?"

"Sou ka..."

"Well then, that explains it." He looked at her from the corner of his eye. "So... a little birdie tells me that you and Ren-sama had a bit of a fight."

Yuki's head came up. "Who told you—"

A wink. "I've got my sources... so is it true?"

"Aa. Sort of."

"What about?"

"....." the blonde sighed sadly, "the truth is... it wasn't really a fight. Or... it was... but it was pretty one-sided. I... I guess... I guess I broke up with him."

Shaking her head, she added; "which would mean more if we had been... together in the first place."

"You weren't?"

"Iie... not really."

Hikaru's eyebrows raised. "Then why were you sneaking out of his room two nights ago?"

"_What?_"

"Ah!" He waved a hand, "daijobu, daijobu! I pried it out of Amai-chan. No worries, Yuki-chan, I wouldn't tell anyone." Yuki's jaw must have dropped open, for Hikaru began to chuckle. "What? You don't believe that I can keep a secret? I swear on my Star Yell!"

"Hikaru-san?"

"Hmm?"

"How much... does age matter in a relationship?"

He looked surprised. "For a _Starlight__?_ Uh, I hate to break it to you, Yuki, but we don't age the same way as everyone else..."

"I know that, but..."

"Is this what you and Ren fought about?"

"Hai... except he doesn't really know."

Hikaru shook his head. "Jeez. Yuki-chan, you're a lot more complicated than anyone gives you credit for."

Yuki turned questioning eyes toward him. Her normally bouncing step was slow today, and despite his general cheerfulness, Hikaru really was worried. He considered for a minute before answering, and dropped his arms back to his sides as he did.

"Ne... Yuki-chan... you're what... seventeen? Eighteen?"

"Hai."

"You're about to the point when you won't change physically anymore." Hikaru frowned slightly, and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Somewhere between where you are and around the age of twenty-five, Starlights just... stop aging. It's something that I don't understand myself, but I'm not about to complain." He tipped his head toward her, "and it's the same for the Knights. Ren-sama was about your age when he became a Knight, and he's still around that age, give or take a few years."

"But... he was... I mean... he's older than _Satsu__-san_, and..."

Hikaru couldn't help grinning. "Look at it this way, Yuki-chan..." lowering his voice, he said, "Amai-chan doesn't care. She and Tohma-sama are together _that way_, and neither of them is worried about how old the other is. Oh sure, they pretend that they're not a couple, but..."

Yuki was staring blankly, and he waved a hand.

"Yare, yare," he rolled his eyes skyward. "And I know you're a generation younger than Amai-chan, but what does it matter? When you get into debating time with Senshi and Knights, you have to completely forgo the entire aging process."

"Anou... so... you're saying I'm being stupid."

"_Silly_, Yuki-chan. Silly. I would never say you were stupid." He patted her shoulder in a comforting gesture, "you are _far_ from stupid."

Yuki was quiet for a while, contemplating, and Hikaru let her think.

_I guess... I guess Amai-san _is _with Tohma-sama, and... and they don't care..._

Sometimes Hikaru made so much sense it was scary.

"Ne, Hikaru-san... arigato..."

"No problemo." Hikaru winked, "I don't like seeing you unhappy any more than everyone else does. Sadness doesn't suit you." Turning around, he walked backward for a few steps as he continued; "so try to cheer up, ne?"

"Hai..."

"That a girl!" He patted her head, a gesture that made her feel like she was six years old again, and then spun back around to head in the opposite direction. "Ja ne, Yuki-chan! Ganbatte!"

"Ja..."

His aquamarine ponytail vanished into the crowd.

_I should have asked him why he was a man today..._

With Hikaru, you never knew.

**xOxOxOxOx**

Yuki didn't feel like going home, so she abandoned her original plan (to go home and sleep for the next ten years) and instead headed out toward the bluffs behind the Palace: beyond the Palace walls and expanses of green fields and flowerbeds, the land sloped downward before dropping into a sharp cliff, which lead to the sea beyond. 

She often spent time there, just standing or sitting and watching the ebb and flow of the tides, when everyone else was busy with other things, and there was nothing to occupy her mind.

Magenta eyes watched vaguely, head tilted downward, as a family of otters scurried about on the beach, splashed in the water, and generally looked as if they were enjoying life.

One of them was her friend—whom she had named "Sayuri"—the otter with the broken leg, which Suta had refused to allow into the apartment. So instead she had taken Sayuri to the veterinarian, and she had long since healed...

She wondered, for a moment, how long it took for a heart to heal.

_I'm so stupid. Stupid!_

It was a long way down to where the otters played... just one slip, and a person could find herself meeting the darkness of oblivion all too quickly. It would be so easy...

_Too easy...___

Unknowingly, she swayed forward—

—and a hand caught her arm before she could tumble from the cliff, pulling her back with a sharp _jerk_, which was followed by a string of muttered curses.

"Damn it, Yuki!"

Surprise. She knew that voice.

"Ren-s-san! K—" she stumbled over her words for a moment before launching into her normally genki greeting—and it was a hesitation that made Ren's eyes seem to frown, though his expression did not change. "Konnichi wa!"

Why was she acting like nothing had happened? Why was she forcing herself to be cheerful for him, when she hadn't been for anyone else? Why was it so important that he not see how much pain she was in?

_Why..._

"What are you doing?" He demanded.

"Are?" Yuki blinked and looked back toward the drop-off. "I was... there's a family of otters that lives down near the bottom, by the water." She smiled brightly, despite how much she wanted to cry. It hurt so much—for him to be there—"I just wanted to see them, ne? I guess I got too close!"

"Yuki..."

Her smile faltered. "I—I think I should go."

She kept saying the same things, over and over again.

_Because there's nothing else _to _say.___

She turned to leave—

—but his grip on her arm didn't budge

"No."

She whirled back around, blonde hair flying, to stare at him with wide, shocked eyes. "But—"

"Listen," he sounded like he didn't know what, exactly, he was going to say—but that he had something important to tell her, nonetheless. "I don't know what the hell Endo told you... and you know what? I don't _want_ to know. Screw him."

Yuki tried, unsuccessfully, to pull her arm from his grasp. "Ren-san—"

"And if you don't want to see me anymore, then that's fine. That's your choice, and I can accept it. But if you're just doing this because of something Endo said... it's stupid, Yuki! Stupid."

She found herself caught by the intensity in his eyes. "Ren... kun..."

His hand fell back to his side. "I just... wanted to say that. You..."

"Gomen ne." She interrupted, her voice wavering. "I'm sorry. I... it's hard to explain... and it's not Endo-sama's fault. Not at all. It was just me and... and I don't know..." she looked away, "I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I... just... gomen ne."

"....."

Without looking at him, she tucked her legs under herself and sat down in the grass, eyes on the ground. One hand absently plucked at the leaves of a clover patch near her side. "I think... I think when I actually realized how old you are... I think I panicked."

"How _old _I am?" He sounded incredulous.

"Aa... it just... you're..." trailing off, she started again with; "Ren-kun, do you ever wonder about your life? I mean... about what you chose to do with it, and where you are now."

"I used to."

She didn't continue right away, and he moved from where he had been standing so sit next to her, a foot or so away. Her gaze remained focused on the clover patch, though he was watching _her_ intently. For her part, she felt as if she was jumping from one topic to another in a completely random fashion.

She just hoped he was able to understand...

"I just wonder sometimes... if maybe I chose the wrong path in life."

"You're being stupid."

Yuki smiled, somewhat sadly. "That's what I keep trying to tell myself," she told him softly, "but there's this little voice... it whispers 'you're not good enough to be a senshi'... 'you're not the kind of person Taiga and Suta want to be friends with'... 'you're not the kind of girl that Ren would—"

Breaking off, she shook her head.

"Ren would _what_, Yuki?"

"Never mind. Nandemonai. Anyway, that's part of the reason why I... I mean, I already have so many doubts, even though I don't tell anyone, and then I found out that you were... you're so much older than me, and I just..." sighing, Yuki forced a smile and turned toward him again, "Ren-kun, I'm sorry for making you listen to—"

Before she could finish the sentence, he leaned over and kissed her. Only once, lightly, his lips barely brushing against hers at all, and her cheeks turned several bright shades of red and pink even as she jerked back in surprise to stare at him with wide, shocked eyes.

"R-Ren-kun—" her magenta gaze turned downward again, "ah... gomen ne."

"What are you apologizing for, _now?_" It was more of a demand than a question.

"For... I..." words seemed to fail her, and she fell back on repeating her previous apology. "Just... just... gomen ne. For everything."

Ren was silent.

Yuki managed a tentative smile—tentative but _real_.

"I'm going to go now... Ren-kun."

"...hai."

"Ja matte ne?"

"Aa. Ja ne..."

She got up, brushing grass from her skirt, and headed back toward the Palace.


	5. Night 3: Twilight

**Disclaimer: **_Sailormoon Stars_ and concepts belong to Takeuchi Naoko-dono, Toei and Kodansha; Ren Akari and the Imperial Knights of Kinmoku belong to Cassandra Sisenta; Tsuko/Neo-Keeper and Kuroi/Neo-Striker also belong to Cassandra Sisenta; the Neo-Inner Starlights (Taiga, Yukiko & Suta) belong to Senashenta, as do the "New" Starlights (Hikaru/Hunter, Josei/Dancer & Amai/Dreamer). 

**Notes: **Bua ha ha ha ha!

...what?

**EIEN NO YUME NI MUKATTE**

**Night 3: Twilight**

Eleven thirty.

Eleven thirty at night, and Suta and Taiga were still up and watching a movie.

Damn it.

Yuki was lying on the floor of the living room, playing with Maemi and trying not to look as if she was losing her patience. Which, of course, she _was_.

Rolling over onto her back, she watched Maemi stretch against the carpet and pitched her voice to sound as innocent as possible. "So... are you guys going to go to bed any time soon?"

Neither of them bothered to answer right away.

"Ne... Taiga-san? Suta-san?"

Suta scowled, her eyes fixed firmly on the television screen. "Would you be quiet, it's just getting to the best part!"

"I was just wondering..."

Taiga's eyes flicked to her. "When the movie's over, Yuki."

And then Suta added with a smirk; "you can just go to Ren-san's place _now_, you know. You don't have to wait until we go to bed."

Yuki yelped something indignant but completely unintelligible that ended with a very whiny "Suta-saaaaan!!"

Maemi's ears went back and she gave her mistress a disgusted look.

Even Taiga snickered, though, and made a vague gesture toward the door. "Just go. You're always back before morning, anyway. And I bet Ren-san is expecting you. Don't let us hold you up."

Already well on her way to turning the of a beet, Yuki scrambled up from the floor and made a mad dash for the door before they could comment any further, slamming it behind her as she all but leapt into the hallway.

And once she was there, she felt really... really... really silly.

_Maa__..._

She _had_ been feeling better, but once she was alone, her doubts began to resurface. Ren wasn't even expecting her... he probably didn't want to see her, anyway, considering what had transpired over the last two days.

But, realistically, there was only one way to find out...

She headed—slowly—nervously—toward the Knight's Wing.

**xOxOxOxOx**

Butterflies were dancing a choreographed ballet in her stomach.

She hadn't been so nervous about seeing Ren since...

...well, _never_.

Pink eyes stared at the door in front of her while she tried to screw up enough courage to actually reach up and _knock_, but her arms, hands, limbs in general didn't seem to be up to cooperating. Her fingers twisted at the edge of her shirt, wrinkling it beyond redemption.

_Come on, Yuki. Just... just knock on the door. If he doesn't want to see you, he won't answer._

Tentatively, she raised a hand and rapped at the door.

The knock was barely loud enough for _her_ to hear it—

The door swung open.

"Yuki."

It was like that every night. Always the same greeting. Always the same expression. Always the same—

Tears welled in her eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks, and before he could say another word she half-ran the three steps between them, flinging herself at him and hugging him as tightly as she possibly could.

For a moment, he just stood there...

And then hesitant arms encircled her, and while she was burying her face in his shirt and whispering reverent apologies through tears that she hadn't known she was going to shed, he lowered his head to murmur a litany of comforting words into her hair.

"I'm so sorry... I'm just... I'm so... so sorry..."

"Aa... it's alright, Yuki. It's alright..."

**xOxOxOxOx**

The only light in the room came from the moon, shining in through the glass of the window.

Whispered voices sounded in the darkness.

"I think I'm glad... I'm glad that I'm here."

"Hai..."

"Why do you let me do this?"

"Do what?"

"Stay here. Why do you let me stay here at night?"

"I really don't know..."

"Oh."

Yuki sighed and closed her eyes. She was, as with half the nights in the previous few months, lying on her side in Ren Akari's bed, facing him, arms curled up against her chest, head tipped downward and her forehead pressed lightly against the base of his throat. Ren himself had one arm up and folded under his head, while the other rested against her side. His fingers toyed absently with the ends of her hair.

"I like it here."

"So I gathered."

"Can... I come back tomorrow night?"

"I never turn you away, do I?"

"Iie..."

The clock in the living room chimed _four_. Four a.m. 

Time for her to go.

She shifted—and so did he. His arms moved, wrapping around her and holding her in place. "Ah—"

His arms tightened around her.

"Stay."

_Stay?_

The single word triggered a flush of to her cheeks, and she knew she was a very bright red. She had never spent the _whole_ night in his room before. Again, she moved—only about an inch or so—and still, he refused to let her go.

"I-I can't!"

Somehow—with all the nights that she had spent with him—with all the nights they had shared a bed—with all the nights he had comforted her—with all the nights he had chased off the nightmares that plagued her—with all the times she had fallen asleep in his arms—

—she had just—

—never imagined—

—that some night, she might not leave before dawn—

—that some night, she would choose to stay—

—that some night, _he_ would ask her not to go—

"Tell me why you can't stay."

"Because! Ah—because—_Akai-sama_, and—"

"He already knows." No further explanation was offered. "So stay."

"But—what if—he does one of those bed checks, or—"

"Let him. Yuki."

Her breath was coming in gasps, and there was no way for her to pretend otherwise, but he didn't seem to care. Her heart was pounding in her chest, spurred into frantic activity by the sudden realization of how—of how—of how _close _he was to her. Why had she never noticed before? In all the nights... how... how had she not noticed how _close _he was?

"Yuki, don't make me beg."

"Beg..." Her voice came out as barely a whisper. "R-Ren—"

"Don't make me beg," He repeated. His own voice was hushed, and his breath tickled against her ear as he spoke. "Please. Yuki."

She wanted to ask "why". She wanted to ask, but—

"Ren, I..." 

A moment of hesitation. Just a moment. Then his lips brushed against her forehead, gently, and he tipped his head back down, returning it to the pillow in front of her. Resigned, his arms loosened and he released her, rolling onto his back. 

"Go, then. If you're not sure, then you shouldn't be here. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

He wasn't holding her any more, but Yuki found herself hesitating.

"I..."

Her hands were shaking, she was sure.

"...don't want..."

Reluctantly, she pushed herself up—and then paused to look at him. His deep violet eyes were closed, his hands clasped across his chest. For a moment—just a breath of time—she couldn't seem to speak anymore, and then—

"I don't want to go."

Ren opened his eyes, and they focused on the ceiling for a few seconds before flitting toward her.

"Ren-kun... is it really alright if I stay?"

"Hai."

"Sou ka," still blushing brightly, she smiled. "Then I'll stay."

His eyes closed again, slowly, and he raised one hand. Giggling, she reached out and clasped it with her own, and then flopped back down onto the mattress, making it bounce lightly. What could almost be viewed as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips as she brought his hand up and planted a gentle kiss against one knuckle.

"Only for tonight, though!"

"Aa."

They both knew she didn't mean it.

"Ne, Ren-kun," she murmured happily, and settled herself against his side once more, "oyasumi nasai."

"Hmm," he replied, a barely identifiable ring of contentment in his own voice. "Oyasumi."

**Owari.**


End file.
